Episode #5: “Sochi’s Got Nothing On LAUSD Schools”
EXT. A TYPICAL LAUSD SCHOOL – MORNING BELL
A line of unenthusiastic students files into the classroom followed by PANTS dressed for a day on the slopes – ski hat, goggles, gore-tex suit, gloves, skis and ski poles.
A TEACHER checking in the students stops PANTS.
TEACHER
Excuse me. May I help you?
PANTS
Yes, I’m here for the Sochi Olympics.
TEACHER
Sir. I think you’re confused. This isn’t the Sochi Olympics. It’s a typical school in the LAUSD school system.
Sir. I think you’re confused. This isn’t the Sochi Olympics. It’s a typical school in the LAUSD school system.
PANTS
You have collapsing ceilings, don’t you?
TEACHER
Well…some.
PANTS
And mold in the bathrooms?
TEACHER
There might be a spore or two.
PANTS
And the rusty water will kill you if you come into contact with it?
TEACHER
What’s your point?
PANTS
If it crumbles like a room in Sochi and rots like a room in Sochi and contaminates like a room in Sochi…
TEACHER
We have only one toilet per stall.
PANTS
What do you want, a Gold Medal?
Tune In Next Time For Another Episode
THE DAILY LIFE OF “PANTS” – The ComicScript
Copyright, 2013, John Swanbeck
BLUESWANFILMS.com
Based on a character originally conceived by Isabel Ferrer
Illustration by Maggie Fuller
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